Loss Thought

What an interesting and powerful activity, if not profoundly depressing.

I have an understanding of the societal and communal loss when someone from the community who was a Native first language speaker passes on. I have seen the sadness and loss in those left behind when the person who held all that language and cultural knowledge ceases to be with us.

This is why I understand the immense beauty of a child being born and the power of creation, especially when a new born seems to possess the gifts or character of a loved one passed. For we are never quite whole again when a teacher/guider/loved one leaves us. We can only hope for something or someone to come along and fill that void.

The only source of solace that comes with the statistics of loss that have occurred in the last 500 years is the resurgence of birth and youth we are currently experiencing in First Nation communities. We have a duty to ensure they inherit a better place than what they came into, and in turn, they have a duty to keep alive the gifts and teachings of those that passed before them.

We can not expect our teachers and loved ones to live forever, but we can ensure that they live on in the stories and teachings we retell and remember forever.

Meaningful Place Activity

A response to this activity has proven to be rather difficult for me, as I feel that there really isn't a singular place that has added meaning or significance to me. I think, if anything, places of meaning for me have shifted over time as I have grown and aged and had different life experiences.

There is a distinct sense of history and memory that comes solely through visiting a place. Being there, in the physical space, offers a sense of meaning that has no substitute. It is why teachers of history find field trips to important sites have much more impact on the lessons learned.

I can think of places close to where I grew up in Orangeville that have particular meaning (Mono cliffs, 5th Line Bridge, Hockley Valley, The Bumpy Part of Town Outside of Town, Browns Farm playground, etc.) but I have no desire or strong calling to revisit those places. They hold memories of a time and place that I've since moved on from.

Then there are places that I continually visit (Ivor Wynne Stadium--until its demolition this year, Dokis First Nation, Niagara Falls, Montreal, etc.) that have their own stories and events dear to my heart, and given the passage of time, give cause for personal reflection on the person I was to the person I am now.

However, when thinking of a place that is special to me, the image that comes to mind is always my home. Where I live now. Where I wake up each morning to a new sunrise, snow on the trees or fresh buds on branches, with my family and dogs. The path in the bush, the creek running through, the stage of my life I'm currently living. The place where I got married, where my daughter was born, where I work and play. The most meaningful place happens to be my home, not so much for its physical nature (though I do love and appreciate those aspects), but more for the people and gifts that imbue my life each and every day.

Holiday Inn

Snails on the guard rail
Thundering skies
Airplanes in disguise
Stealthy hidden
Beneath the veil
Of a thick smfrog

Are we snails on the guardrails?
Slow in our position
To defend from opposition
Guarding our rights
Without putting up a fight
Easily crushed by the machine
Left unnoticed

It is a struggle
To climb to the top of the post
Where we are left bare and visible
Yet barely visible

Still, if you look closely,
You will notice how many we are
We are not alone
On top of each post
We gather
A community
Strengthened
On guard

En garde!

The Soundtrack of My Life

Remember when facebook was just for people?  And those people CREATED instead of consumed the companies' ads and entertainment news feeds?  I was a big fan of the "note" part of facebook, which I thought was gone until I found it here.  Another thing about the old facebook that I liked was getting to know people through facebook memes.  I often participated in them, but never did actually create one.  Until now.

Lately Entertainment Weekly has been asking musicians a series of questions called "Soundtrack of My Life".  I like the idea of it, being a big music fan all my life and the intricate memories that music can convey, from a sense of place to a powerful emotional response to a moment in time.  SO, borrowing from their set of questions, I offer you this meme, and encourage you to read my answers, copy and paste into your own note, and share YOUR soundtrack for us to read.  Enjoy!

The First Song I Was Obsessed With

Hey Jude by the Beatles

I really don't remember this, but my mom tells me that I used to play the record over and over in my room.  I figure that the song is so long and repetative, that maybe I played it once and it felt like over and over again.  Still, I'm a Beatles fan and my daughter listens to Revolver and Rubber Soul at least once a week.  Na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

The Song That Always Reminds Me of Home

Home - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros

I have a hard time answering this one, as many songs remind me of growing up in my hometown, but no one song really has a definitive "home" to me.  When I read that question, it just makes me think of this song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L64c5vT3NBw

I have to admit, that ANY band from home, makes me think of home.  Like Noah Fence (5 Knuckle Chuckle) and Rob Richardson (or Joy and Sorrow) make me think of home.  Lot of talented musicians growing up.

The Song That Makes Me Think of My First Crush

Hangin' Tough - New Kids on the Block

My first crush eventually became my first girlfriend and in one of those things that boyfriends do, I attended a New Kids on the Block concert with her.  As embarassing as it was at the time, it turned out to be a good show.  It's also the only time I can say I was in the midst of full on pre-teen screaming mobs, that give me an appreciation for the fandom that the Beibers and One Direction of today have to endure.

The First Album I Bought With My Own Money

Sports - Huey Lewis & the News

I distinctly remember striking up a deal with my dad.  He and my brother were going to see Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom at the theatre and I wanted Huey Lewis' new album.  My dad gave me the choice of going to see the movie with them, or getting to buy the album.  I think he thought that the feeling of being left out of their trip to the movies would be too much and he wouldn't have to get the album for me.  I surprised him with my 7 year old logical thinking; the movie would last two hours, whereas the album could be played over and over again.  Believe me, it was.  I memorized that album and sang it like nobody's business.  It is also tied to what makes me think of my second crush, Kendra.

The Song That Changed My Life

Let's Stay Together - Al Green

When I first came to Six Nations, I hosted a radio show on CKRZ that was a reboot of the award winning radio show I did in Windsor with Joel Beatson, Keepn' it Reel.  I had just met my wife to be and on the last show before Christmas break, I played this song and dedicated it to her.  The students in the class were all atwitter the next day at school because the student teacher in their class played a song for Miss General that had "love" in it.  The associate teacher couldn't believe it either.  Only problem was, my wife to be DIDN'T HEAR IT played for her!!!  She listened to most of the show but turned it off before my dedication to her.  It didn't matter.  Six months later we danced to the song at our wedding.

The First Song I Ever Sang in Public

I Feel Good - James Brown

I'm sure I sang other songs in public, or in church (Eat His body, Drink His blood, and we'll sing a song of love) but the first song I remember singing in public, to an audience of people, would be a karaoke rendering of this song.  I did it for my great friend Jono, because he shares the same birthday with the Godfather of Soul.  I think I did more dancing than singing. He may not know this, but it took a lot for me to do that.  It was totally in honour of him and was the sole reason I got up on stage.  That, and the two praire fire shots I had before going up on stage.

The Song I Like to Sing to My Kid

Purple Rain - Prince

I sing to my daughter all the time, but it is usually made up songs about what we are doing.  In fact, I sing to her so much that she is starting to get sick of me turning everything into a song.  Between the Beatles and Prince, there are a bunch of songs we sing together, but Purple Rain might be the chorus we do the most.  Whoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.

The Song That Makes Me Cry

The Beautiful Ones - Prince

Okay.  This is going to turn into Prince fest sooner, rather than later, but if you know me, you were probably already expecting that.  There is something so pure, so primal, about the middle section of this song, that when you sing along, you can't help but feel the torment and pain of a lover lost.  Do you want him?  Or do you want me?  'Cause I want you!  Pair this song with All I Want is You by U2 and you'll have me singing with tears of emotion.

The Song I Wish I Had Written

Three Days - Jane's Addiction

I know very little about songwriting or the craft of music, but I do consider myself somewhat a connoisseur of music.  To me, this song is one of the most perfect songs ever written.  It is epic.  I'm also very fond of the lyrics of Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd.  That song can make me cry when I think of our ancestors and what injustice has been done to Native people.  So there.  One song I'd wish I'd written the music, and another song I'd wish I'd written the words.

The Song I Love to Hear Live

Save Me - The Tea Party

The EW article actually asks the musician what song they love to PLAY live, but since I'm no musician, I changed it up a little.  There are a lot of great live songs I've heard in what I would deem the top 5 concerts I've seen, by U2, Prince, Coldplay, Bloodhound Gang, and Ween.  Yet, seeing the Tea Party perform in several different venues, and several different points in their career, this song was always an enjoyable highlight.  The fact that they changed it up almost each and every time, with an interesting cover tune thrown in the middle that seemed to fit seamlessly (Hurt by Nine Inch Nails, The Maker by Daniel Lanois to name two) make it a song worth hearing no matter how many times I've heard it before.

The Song I'll Always Use My Quarters on at the Bar Jukebox

Kashmir - Led Zeppelin

I can't say I've actually used a quarter on this tune in a jukebox.  For some reason, songs by Queen come to mind, and even Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond makes for a great loud bar sing-a-long.  But I settle on Kashmir because I'm such a cheap bastard that I'm going to get my quarter's worth!

The Album People Might Not Expect Me to Love

 Loud - Rihanna

It's strange to choose something for this category, because I do have eclectic taste when it comes to music, and love all genres of music except two:  Country and Western.  So this album may or may not surprise you but I think it surprises me how much I return to this ALBUM on my iPod.  Not just one or two songs, but a good chunk of the entire ALBUM.  It has such a cool mix of sounds and despite it being a huge seller and typical top 40, I thought it might surprise some of you that I love this album.

The Song I Most Want to be Remembered By

 Forever in My Life - Prince

This is another one of the questions/categories I had to change, as the original EW article asks the musician what song they want to be remembered FOR.  Obviously, that doesn't work in this context, so I altered it to "remembered BY".  You can take this a variety of ways.  A song people associate me with.  A song that maybe speaks to what I am or what I'm about.  Or a song that may have a connection to me.  Maybe YOU can tell ME a song that reminds you of me.  Please post a comment telling me what song you think of when you think of me.  I chose this song because if I want to be remembered as anything, it's a good husband and a good father.  This song was another one of my wedding songs and it speaks to the foreverness of being a husband and a father.  This is no part time job.  It is forever.

The Song I Want Played at My Funeral

 Sometimes It Snows in April - Prince

Some of you may have guessed this one.  I'm sure I've told people that I want this song played.  Please remember for when the time comes.  I just love the simplicity, the soulfulness, the storytelling.  The lyrics are beautiful and if I can leave a message with all y'all when I pass, it's in those words.  "Always cry 4 love, never cry 4 pain.  All good things they say, never last.  And love, just isn't love, until it's passed."

I hope you've enjoyed my list.  I look forward to reading yours. 

Lyotarded

Lost faith

Academic Knowledge is what's valued

Victor Von Wicktenstein

An academic monster

A postmodern game

To learn our role of

Bonding to our master

Fragmenting narratives

Guide us to oblivion

A new way of thinking

Where are my relations?

They do not perform here

In academia

We are bound up

Leap to our death

Legitimacy in morbidity

How does one's death measure

Our performance

Money does not equal happiness

Income, banking

I withdrawl

Broke of spirit

Market paradigms

Amount to less than a dime

I'm wasting my time

Maximum Output

Maximum Sell out

Ethically deprived for money

You are all hypocrites

THE GOAL IS NO LONGER TRUTH

Cult of efficiency

School of complacency

Constantly measuring

But coming up short

What's it all worth?

Effective Defective

Dean has the means

To slice out the spleen

The lifeblood of education

Frustration

Cybernetics

Noose around my neck

Prestigious--like Regis

Who wants to be a millionaire?

Wealth equals truth

Cyclical fashion

Making me sick

Scientific endeavors

Fair as the weather

Blowing hot air up our ass

Enlightenment

Tastes great, less filling

Emancipation

I'm waiting

Institution prostitution

All for a grant

Taken for granted

I WILL UTILIZE STRATEGIC COMPLIANCE

My Life According to O)+>

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer the following questions by cutting and pasting. Pass it onto 15 people you like (or don't) and include me. You can't use the band I used...Try not to repeat a song title.

This is harder than you think!

Repost as "My life according to {band name}."

My artist?
The artist currently known as Prince, formerly known as O)+>.

Who am I?
An Honest Man
or
Daddy Pop
or 
Mr. Happy

How do I feel?
Superfunkycalifragisexy

Where do I currently live?
Alphabet St.

If I could go anywhere, where would I go?
The Sun, The Moon and Stars
or 
Around the World in a Day
or
Paisley Park

What's my favorite form of transportation?
Little Red Corvette (obvious)

Who is my best friend?
Friend, Lover, Sister/Mother, Wife
or
The Most Beautiful Girl in the World

What's the weather like?
Purple Rain (even more obvious)

If my life was a TV show, what would it be called?
Joy in Repetition
or 
Le Grind

What is life to me?
D.M.S.R.

My relationship?
Forever in My Life
or
When 2 R in Love

My fear?
Ripopgodazippa
or
When Doves Cry

What is the best advice I have to give?
Money Don't Matter 2 Night
or
Make Your Mama Happy

My thought for the day?
Anotherloverholenyohead
or
Right the Wrong

How would I like to die?
Face Down
(so they can kiss my MotherFing a$$!)

My soul's present condition?
I Would Die 4 U

My motto?
I Rock, Therefore I Am
or
Positivity

Inside the Actor's Studio

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to answer the ten (10) questions. At the end, choose twenty-five (25) people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your answers to the ten (10) questions, tag people (in the right hand corner) then click "publish."

These ten (10) questions originally came from a French series, "Bouillon de Culture" hosted by Bernard Pivot. They're better known as the questions that James Lipton asks every guest at the end of "Inside the Actor's Studio."


1. What is your favorite word?
i like French words like "pamplemousse" and "parapluie".
As for English, nothing comes to mind at the moment.


2. What is your least favorite word?
Words (Homographs) like "read" or "record", which have two pronounciations and meanings with the same spelling, so you don't know which way to pronounce the word until after you've read (ahem) the sentence. 

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Conversation or media that explores issues that have amibiguous or strong arguments for both sides; no obvious moral position. For example, the conundrum that presents itself to the lead character, Victor, in the novel Choke.

4. What turns you off?
Bigotry, racism, elitism. 

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Following Terri's PG rated suggestion, i offer "Jerkface Malone", or Tony's classic, "dickspank". i don't curse very often, but when i do i like to use any of George Carlin's words you can't say on television.

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Winner! Gagnant! - - Terri's suggestion can stay in my own responses, but i truly love the uncontrollable laughter of children. You know, the kind that comes at the moment in which the fun and silliness has reached such a height that you know a meltdown (when one child is present) or a mishap/injury (when two or more children are present) is inevitable. 

7. What sound or noise do you hate (dislike)?
Alarm clock radio going off; distant thud followed by silence when a child falls down within ear shot. Another noise i can't stand, if one can really call it a noise at all, is the feeling of cotton balls in my fingertips. i'm just shivering thinking about it. If i were a superhero, that would be my kryptonite.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Talk show host.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Tax advisor, lawyer, accountant

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
So, what would you like to come back as?

Cinquante Quinze

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
My hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
Mustn't be a real native; don't own a hoodie

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Everyday for the rest of my life

4. Do you plan outfits?
No, i don't plan my hissy fits either

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
tired, overworked, yet still procrastinating

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red?
Cheese Nips box

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
Sadly, i can't recall. Usually i remember that i've dreamed the night before, but i remember no details
(i thought the past tense of dream was dreamt, but my spell check thinks otherwise)

8. Did you meet anybody new today?
Yes i did. And she was roughly four years old.

9. What are you craving right now?
Water. Parched. Seriously parched.

10. Do you floss?
Every damn night

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Two things: "I have a cabbage, for a head!" --KITH
"Cabbage rolls and coffee, hmm, hmm, good!" -- some song my brother used to sing

12. Are you emotional?
Some might say i am the antithesis of emotional. Asimov may classify me as a robot, i'm so damn rational.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
Using exponents...ten to the power of three...and done!

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Lick it like a lollipop should be licked
(i know, that's gross. But why else would they be asking that question?)

15. Do you like your hair?
Not really. Better than no hair, which is in my near future for sure.

16. Do you like yourself?
No. i love myself.

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Only if pretzels were on the menu.

18. What are you listening to right now?
All You Need is Love

19. Are your parents strict?
Not even close. And i think i'm all the better for it. Just had high hopes and expectations for me.

20. Would you go sky diving?
Yes.

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
I pretty much like cheese anywhere. In a house, with a mouse.

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
On several occasions

23. Do you rent movies often?
Rent, yes. Do i actually ever watch them? Rarely.

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
Pretty much guaranteed, but can't spot it at the moment. TV is kind of sparkly and trippy right now.

25. How many countries have you visited?
Five

26. Have you made a prank phone call?
Used to be quite the pest, right Gary?

27. Ever been on a train?
i know i have, but it's hard to recall when

28. Brown or white eggs?
Usually when i eat them, they're yellow. But i tend to buy them brown.

29.Do you have a cell-phone?
Yes. Went off in class today.

30. Do you use chap stick?
Not so much. Lip balm on windy days.

31. Do you own a gun?
No. But if you're planning on robbing my house, then yes. Yes i do.

32. Can you use chop sticks?
Define "use".

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
Two ladies in my life.

34. Are you too forgiving?
To a fault

35. Ever been in love?
Sweet jesus, yeah!

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow?
i'm betting they are working, working out, playing video games, and playing with kids.

37. Ever have cream puffs?
Once. That's all. Once. Never, again.

38. Last time you cried?
This past weekend. Watching the film, "Up", after attending my aunt's funeral, whose husband looks remarkably like Carl in Up.

39. What was the last question you asked?
Do you need some water? (Should have got myself some. Wouldn't be so parched right about now).

40. Favorite time of the year?
Autumn

41. Do you have any tattoos?
NO

42. Are you sarcastic?
To a fault

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
Where the hell did that question come from? Did Ashton Kutcher write this?

44. Ever walked into a wall?
Not a full on wall, but things like sign posts and goal posts and the like.

45. Favorite color?
Purple

46. Have you ever slapped someone?
See question #4, hissy fits.
Honestly, never on the face.

47. Is your hair curly?
Which hair? i thought everyone's was curly?

48. What was the last CD you bought?
Berstein: West Side Story

49. Do looks matter?
Hey, someone married me, so i guess not.

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I really don't think i could

51. Is your phone bill sky high?
No, it's ground low. Get Koodo!

52. Do you like your life right now?
Can't complain about the small things, they'll pass. My life choices are fantastic, out of this world.

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
No, usually pyjamas.

54. Can you handle the truth?
Nothing but the truth, so help me Tom Cruise, Oprah, Jewish god, Allah

55. Do you have good vision?
Thought i did. Joke was on me.

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
Hate is a strong word, but i'm sure i can muster up an intense dislike for a number of people

57. How often do you talk on the phone?
Not all that often. Mostly just my bro.

58. The last person you held hands with?
Little C.

59. What are you wearing?
Black cords, hunter green top which i got as a birthday gift.

60.What is your favorite animal?
Fond of squirrels, chipmunks, penguins

61. Where was your default picture taken?
London, England, i presume. Hogwarts?

62. Can you hula hoop?
On the Wii Fit, though my niece is the Queen of Hula

63. Do you have a job?
No, i have a vocation.

64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Chai Tea Latte for two.

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Why, yes. Yes i have. Both to get in and to get out.